Linn, You Started Off With A Healthy BMI, What Initially Made You Want To Start Losing Weight?
I wasn’t pleased with my body. I had just graduated and moved back to my parents house to save some money before I got a job. Therefore, I had a lot of free time and needed something to do. I’ve always been a person who likes to accomplish things and set goals for myself. So I set my mind on losing some weight. Initially it was just to tighten up a little bit, but of course, I had no idea that it would escalate as it did.
What Were You Doing To Lose The Weight? Diet? Training?
In the beginning I just ate less, but when I was at my worse I weighed all my food (even the salad such as tomatoes… yep…) and ate no more than 200 calories per meal, often less than that. Depending on my workout (swimming, walks etc) I ate between 400-900 kcal/day. I never skipped any meals, it was the other way round, I was extremely fixated on eating every 3 hours.
I set my alarm clock on the phone so I wouldn’t forget to eat. When the phone rang it was time for my sacred moment – food. Everything had to be right. The right plate, fork, I had to be comfortable – no one was allowed to interrupt me and so on. I was extremely obsessed and planned my life around food. If you can call it “life”, I wasn’t living. My days consisted of anxiety and every movement was like torture to my body, I was so weak. It’s kind of scary, that you can lose your mind to a sickness like that.
Linn, You Started Off With A Healthy BMI, What Initially Made You Want To Start Losing Weight?
I wasn’t pleased with my body. I had just graduated and moved back to my parents house to save some money before I got a job. Therefore, I had a lot of free time and needed something to do. I’ve always been a person who likes to accomplish things and set goals for myself. So I set my mind on losing some weight. Initially it was just to tighten up a little bit, but of course, I had no idea that it would escalate as it did.
What Were You Doing To Lose The Weight? Diet? Training?
In the beginning I just ate less, but when I was at my worse I weighed all my food (even the salad such as tomatoes… yep…) and ate no more than 200 calories per meal, often less than that. Depending on my workout (swimming, walks etc) I ate between 400-900 kcal/day. I never skipped any meals, it was the other way round, I was extremely fixated on eating every 3 hours.
I set my alarm clock on the phone so I wouldn’t forget to eat. When the phone rang it was time for my sacred moment – food. Everything had to be right. The right plate, fork, I had to be comfortable – no one was allowed to interrupt me and so on. I was extremely obsessed and planned my life around food. If you can call it “life”, I wasn’t living. My days consisted of anxiety and every movement was like torture to my body, I was so weak. It’s kind of scary, that you can lose your mind to a sickness like that.
Food
How Long Did You Stay With This Approach To Losing Weight?
I had trouble with my relationship with food for a long time, about 3 years, but never as extremely as what would come later. I got really sick in 2011 and managed to get well during 2013.
Food
At What Point Did You Realize You Had Started Going Too Far?
I saw how people I hadn’t seen for a while started crying at the sight of my body, and I realized that I was hurting my loved ones. They couldn’t do a thing, just try to help and make me listen, and watch me while I disappeared more and more.
It was awful, but it’s so hard to just turn away from an illness like this. I was stuck in my Eating Disorder ‘world’, and I chose to ignore the fact that I didn’t just hurt myself but also the ones close to me, who were suffering just as much as I was.
When my mom and boyfriend began threatening to get me admitted, I got scared. I was older than 18, but when someone is becoming a danger to themselves you can be detained and put in hospital, or treatment facility, against your will. I got scared by the thought that someone else would decide that for me what and when to eat, so I began to gain weight.
Credits: TrimmedandTonned
